Monday, November 10, 2008

To Hold Back

so i'm learning that in lifeteen u can't hold secrets. i was in group and i got emotional. i really dont know y. we were talking about God and stress. lucky me got stuck with alex and sarah. can u say get out the tissues. haha. cuz u know alex, he knows howw to pull strings until u beg him to stop. btw let me just say i looked great with my new yellow jacket. only thing was my hair:[
so we were in group and knowing alex he finds a way to pull at me. that night, i guess i was going through a lot considering that i found out anthony has another candidate. whoop-de-doo. me and joy decided to punch a balloon. later to be killed thanks to micheal baldovino. thanks...first mission failed.
so we got into group. yes, confidentiality...i know. but in this case i'll talk about myself. so i brought up the "sponsidate" situation. i guees im fine with it. i mean im always gonna be the favorite. haha. and i knew that at every lifenight...tadpole had to come into the picture. and i cried. like WOW. sarah and alex came to the rescue so quick i didnt even have enough time to fall completely on my ass.
so two things came to mind. one was go in the bathroom, cry a little in there, and in the process look at myself in the mirror and fix my hair or two, sit there and cry in front of the group. first choice definitely. so i went, actually peed, cried, and then stared at myself in the mirror and fixed my hair. GREAT!
so i went back and sat down. we were last again. but it was the group i needed to get back on track. so it was prayer time. hugs kisses etc. and sarah. she came to the rescue again. i seriouly love this girl. she talked to me about tadpole. she knew who it was. and i knew she knew. i even know alex knew. but it was great to hear that people read my blogs and understood where im coming from. she told me that no matter what that people would accept me. and she's right. the true friends are the ones who stick by ur side no matter what. so with that said...y hold back. but in this case i still wanna hold back. i mean whoever loves me will always love me. the simplest things let me know the people who will always be there for me. haha. thanks sean. i know u care. haha. but tadpole. now tadpole is someone most people know if u go lifeteen. if u look on myspace its obvious. but in this case no words r coming from my mouth to confirm it. so thanks, lifeteen. i think im back in a place where im comfortable again. much needed.b -Ryan:]


My-lynn said...

Who's this tadpole?

Loujel ^o^ said...

ryan, i love you & i'm always here for you (: know that i'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on & that i'm only a text/call/comment/message/email away.

love you best friend forever :D