Jet Turbulence Gets Complicated

for three days i've managed to stay off the computer, off myspace, and off blogspot. kinda funny when i log on and was hit by all these new blogs. i only read a couple. so its a rainy day. i love rainy days because they make you think.

in many circumstances this past week has given me so much crap and a lot of achievements all at the same time. it kinda strikes me as im losing a lot of myself. why? its hard to explain. one thing i always held on to is the fact that i gotta build myself this huge tower and trying to dominate it so the spotlight is always on me. hence, ryan building blocks. lol. but doing this it makes me less of a person and more of a busybody. sometimes i need some time to sit down and think like this. rainy days are awesome.

so retreat is coming up. three days of nonstop love. or i'd like to think as three days of rebuilding. so i read mailyn's blog about losing the LIFE in LIFETEEN. she's right. we've lost a lot of it. i've lost a lot of it. i used to love going and being loud. like Alex told me monday night, i was the loudest and all of a sudden i got quiet. i have no idea how to go off of that sentence.

and then i read mixxel's blog. your brother. im glad that you feel that you found another brother figure. but, try to rebuild the one you already have. i love my sister no matter how much we fight and argue. deep down we both know we would take a bullet for one another. cherish the family you have everyone. all families argue. all families lose contact. mine does all the time. but i still love them. so mixxel call your brother, or text him. trust me on this one.

and now im listening, haha not reading, marinelle's blog. no worry i read it. before she bugs me. but in many lives turbulence will get the best of us and we will get rocky. that just leaves you to solve your problems under God. no matter how many blocks you build your tower will fall eventually. mine has. Ryan:]

before i go i have a little lent update. i dont think im giving up anything for lent. and i kinda gave up on my other things i wanted to do. but now i decided my lenten journey will be rebuilding myself in what i used to be and making it better all under the supervision of God. i will update you on that...i hope;]