false hope. those are two words that are ringing in my head over and over again. what's funny about life is that when you want something you can't always have it.
many of you have heard that I was going to retract my money for the retreat. many of you tried to convince me to not do it. well for those of you who tried...im sorry. but ive come to a decision that i will not not attend the retreat. did u get that? haha. feel free to reread that part.
well for the slow ones, i am going on the retreat. 10% is thanks to marinelle and her voice ringing in my head like every two minutes. thanks a lot marinelle. lol. 25% is thanks to anthony. uh duh. and the rest goes to alex. it was like a mini retreat talking to him. but he got me to realize something that i may, or actually is a HUGE part, of the reason why i didnt wanna go in the first place. many of which, those of you know. like my aunties wedding, and my love for the people who go to lifeteen to this day(lol), but there was something that i hid from everyone that's really been bothering me. deep down. and alex was able to dig it up just in time for me to say that i was going on the retreat.
which goes all the way back to the top of this blog. false hope. i guess i havent come to terms with some things that have been bothering me for a long time. things that this blog has metioned before and things that haven't been mentioned to the public. all i can say is there is only one promise in life and it is that God makes all the decisions in life and he is very forgiving. this tower will not crumble and jets will continue to fly. -Ryan:]
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