Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Reality Jets In

so the retreat is over and this blog comes two days late. Full-Filled, it wasn't the same as So You Think You Can Love. It was kinda disappointing. But still, this retreat brought something new to my attention, like Anthony said. My biggest fear is rejection. not burnt rice. lol. but im afraid God wouldnt accept me because i couldnt accept myself. many of you know the reason for this fear. but anothony made it clear to me that God will make the last judgement. it's crazy how forgiving God is. and i love Ikona for being able to give me the best heart to hearts i ever had. i made him cry and i cried too. lol. and then alex, always know the right thing to say. but the spiritual high...its gone. its hard to realize how fast the realworld can steal something from you. thats the sad part when it comes to retreats, losing that feeling.

but the retreat brought other stuff to my attention too. whether i like it or not, my friends are graduating and some won't come back to lifeteen or some are even leaving. reality sets in slowly. seeing my friends up there on stage with their candles, everything seemed real. that would be me next year... seeing mailyn cry right in the middle, haha, made me realize how close it is for them and how each day its getting closer for me. so to the seniors, God will always be with you no matter where you go. and don't forget to go to church and pray. graduating from high school doesnt mean your graduating from God.all this talk about people leaving, makes me not want to leave for college...but we'll see where God sends me.

lastly, your making me go crazy. i have no idea what to think about you at the moment. it's funny. how life seems to throw things at you your not ready for. God just sent one at me. my gut, its always right. why do i doubt it. will you just tell me already ease the anxiousness. i like you.

and lastly if you havent heard, im Senior Class President. (Cant get enough of that) One jar filled with blocks sit next to the tower. -Ryan:]

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