Me, God, and Reality

WOW! i finally have one of these huh! haha!well i guess its time to write how i feel.

GOD! the man that sacrificed sooooooo much for us. and we just had a retreat.my spiritual high should still be here. but along the way, ive lost it. and its hard. to know that maybe i lost it because of how reality can be such a bitch. the drama, the cussing, and all the stuff that makes just wanna sit down and ask why God has made it sooooo hard for us to be happy. i mean we all cried and poured our hearts out to everything. we admitted our inner feelings and confronted the ones we love head on. but it seems like God still wants to throw legos at us and scream build a stronger castle to protect us. but in our efforts we knock it down.but i must admit God works in mysterious ways. i still love God. and i kept all the ties with those i met on the retreat. and i cant wait till the reunion. but theres a void i cant fill and i wish i could. but its hard that reality is that God may not want me to have it. and thats what sucks about reality. so for now i build on what God has to offer me. and now im gonna go sleep on it and pray! GN!-Ryan:]